People fear what they don't know.
Let me tell you a story.
A student came to me one time and said they couldn't find a job they liked. This was puzzling to me because quite simply, the student was brilliant, sophisticated, and the type of person that any company would want to hire. I needed to find out more information because it didn't make sense.
Where have you applied? What kind of work do you want to do? What's your game plan?
The normal places for a law student. The normal work for a law student. The normal game plan for a law student.
Except I knew this student wasn't a normal law student. They were exceptional but different. The person who needs an unconventional route to get to an unconventional place. The student didn't need the normal law firm job. They didn't need to take the normal game plan.
So I followed up and asked why the student was trying to be just like everyone else.
"I don't want to fail."
That's a fair statement but fear of failure was the exact reason the student was unsuccessful. Applying to jobs they weren't excited about and it showed.
So I told the student to go through an exercise. You can thank Tim Ferris for the idea.
It's called fear setting.
I told the student to tell me their ideal job. What exactly that looked like and they told me a technology startup. Something in the legal department but doing more than just legal work. They wanted to be part doer and part lawyer.
Perfect.
Now for the fun part.
Tell me the very worst case scenario. In painful detail. I want to feel the pain as if I am experiencing it myself. And that's what the student started to do.
Well, I won't know what I'm doing. Okay, then what? I'll give the wrong advice. Okay, then what? The company will suffer and lose money. Okay, then what? People will have to be let go. Okay, then what? The company will try to fix the problem. Okay, and if they can't? The downward decline will continue. Okay, then what? The company will go bankrupt and shut down. Okay, then what?
I don't know. I just lost them their business.
How can you prevent this?
Ask for help.
Exactly.
So here's the thing. People fear the unknown. You need to establish what the very worst case scenario is for speaking. What does it look like, feel like, sound like, etc? And then you need to play it out in painful detail. Experience the failure.
Oh, and do it on camera. Film it. And watch it back.
Why?
- You will see how unrealistic that situation is.
- You now have defined your worst case situation.
- You can now prevent that from ever happening.
By preventing that from ever happening you now have moved up the floor on your very worst speech. You are literally better just by doing this exercise and preventing that worst situation from happening.
The problem for most speakers is when they feel that energy we talked about yesterday, they start thinking about all of the what ifs because they have never really thought about the worst case before. It's the unknown that crushes them. It's the unknown that makes them nervous.
Put the unknown away. Create your worst case. Then overcome it.
Now I want you to do the opposite exercise. What's your dream scenario? Record it. Experience it.
Work towards it.
Once you know the worst, you can prevent it.
Once you know the best, you can work towards it.
Then you can start to turn that energy into excitement.
Then you can start to show the world your confidence.
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